Attachment style profoundly influences how individuals form and maintain relationships throughout their lives. They are primarily shaped through interactions with primary caregivers during early childhood. This article from an attachment specialist in Lake Oswego, Oregon, will introduce you to the different styles and teach you what to do if you’re finding it difficult to form and maintain healthy relationships as an adult.

The Origin of Attachment Styles

The bond between a child and their caregiver lays the groundwork for future patterns. A person will have one of four attachment styles based on their experiences from infancy:

Secure Attachment

Secure attachment develops when a caregiver consistently responds to a child’s needs with warmth and sensitivity. Children who experience this type of support tend to grow up feeling safe and confident in their relationships and can form healthy connections.

Avoidant Attachment

Emotionally distant and unreliable caregivers often result in avoidant attachment. Those with an avoidant attachment style value independence and self-sufficiency. They are slow to trust, often uncomfortable with intimacy, and tend to keep others at a distance.

Anxious Attachment

Anxious attachment can develop when caregivers are inconsistent—sometimes responsive, sometimes not. This can cause adults to become overly dependent on others for reassurance and approval, often resulting in a heightened sense of relational anxiety.

Disorganized Attachment

Disorganized attachment is seen in individuals who experienced chaotic or frightening caregiving as children. This style is characterized by a lack of clear strategy for getting needs met by others, leading to confusion and ambivalence in close relationships.

Through self-reflection, individuals with insecure attachment styles can work toward developing more secure attachments. If you’re struggling with this as an adolescent or adult, attachment therapy at Sapphire Blue Behavioral Health Solutions in Lake Oswego can help. Contact us today to learn more.

It’s always disconcerting to see someone close to you struggling with depression and feelings of hopelessness. But how concerned should you be if the symptoms of depression persist, and when is the right time to say something or intervene on their behalf? It can be difficult to know when and how to act if a loved one’s demeanor and behavior have reached a crisis point.

Even if you know that person well, it can be hard to know where to draw the line because you don’t want to intrude on their thoughts and feelings if it’s not warranted, and if it’s not wanted. Fortunately, there are warning signs that indicate when someone is truly contemplating suicide. If a friend or relative is exhibiting certain signs, behaviorally or verbally, it’s important to take it seriously. Sometimes, these are indications that your loved one is reaching out for help, even if only subconsciously.

Recognizing the signs

Listen carefully to the language your friend uses. If he or she believe they feel trapped and can’t see a way out, or if the person says that everyone would be better off without him or her and spends an inordinate amount of time talking about death, the loved one is probably at risk for suicide.

Other signs may include reckless behavior, such as taking risks while driving in traffic or using drugs and alcohol excessively. If he or she starts giving personal items away or is getting their affairs in order by changing a will or paying off debts, it’s probably time to intervene.

In some cases, people suddenly exhibit a radical change, switching from profound depression to happy behavior, which may indicate they’ve decided to take action and are on the brink of suicide. If that’s the case, it’s time to let your loved one know how concerned you are, and seek help. Sometimes, just expressing your worries and showing that you care will elicit a heartfelt conversation that can prevent a tragedy.

How to help

First and foremost, take the danger of suicide seriously. Research has shown more than 75% of suicides gave some indication in the weeks prior to their death that they were contemplating killing themselves. If the signs are there, there’s good reason to be concerned.

Fortunately, there’s also reason for hope: the fact that the individual hasn’t taken the final step is an indication that there is a desire to live as well. That’s an opportunity to find the assistance they need. Try to encourage your loved one to seek out a therapist, family doctor, religious leader, or someone else they can speak to freely and without fear of judgment. Remind your friend that being depressed is not a personality defect or moral issue. It is a condition shared by many people (about one in 12 people in the United States deal with depression). And, make sure they know you’re there to help and that you’ll support them unconditionally.

Besides seeking professional help, your loved one can also develop positive habits to build confidence like avoiding self-criticism and spending less time living in the past. Taking up a new hobby can keep them engaged and focused on something new. Simply making some changes to their living space such as decluttering, adding indoor plants, and setting aside a room for meditation can give their mood a boost as well.

Don’t delay

Your loved one also may have opened up to you because he or she believes you’ll be willing to help sooner than later. When the signs are there, delaying can be fatal. Take resolute action as soon as possible, taking comfort in the knowledge that your actions are in the best interest of someone you care about.

If the individual in question is suffering from substance abuse, bear in mind that it increases the likelihood they’ll resort to suicide. Studies have established a connection between the hopelessness of addiction and the darkness of depression. Addiction and depression comprise legitimate risk factors for suicide.

Depression is a long, dark hallway from which many people are unable to escape. It’s a feeling of utter hopelessness that often ends in a suicide attempt if not identified and acted on in time. If you know someone who’s acting and talking about suicide, take it seriously and intervene in a positive, non-judgmental way.

This article is brought to you by Sapphire Blue Solutions, where Dr. Nicole La Verne has worked hard to create a team of professionals that are compassionate and skilled at helping others. Whether you are dealing with such issues as anxiety, depression, addiction, loss, relationships, codependency, crisis, or others, our staff are ready to assist. At Sapphire Blue Solutions, staff work from a strengths-based, integrated client-centered approach. For more information, please visit our website or contact us today!

An alternative treatment is a therapy that may not have as much research supporting its effectiveness as traditional addiction treatment. Often referred to as Complementary and Alternative Therapies (CAM), these alternative therapies are used as a complement to your traditional treatment plan and can increase the effectiveness of your treatment by helping you to cope with withdrawal symptoms, stress/emotional issues, or even a lack of spiritual grounding.

The idea is to work toward the best version of yourself, and this often requires the use of more than one tool. There are many such options when you’re in recovery such as hypnosis, meditation, acupuncture and crystal healing. For your best chance of a successful recovery, you should pursue treatments with a strong evidence of their effectiveness.

However, there are times that alternative treatments might be worth trying:

When Conventional Treatments Aren’t Working

Doctors generally don’t prescribe alternative therapies. This is often due to lack of evidence behind them and also because there may be legal implications should any harm come to you as a result of that recommendation. Some doctors are more responsive to alternative treatments and will go through your options with you, but this is usually when a number of conventional approaches have already failed. If you haven’t seen much benefit from mainstream treatments, then you might want to try alternatives. It is important to note that you should continue with your standard therapies and use alternative approaches as a complement to them, not a replacement.

When You’re Treating a Symptom

In 2016, researchers published a review of alternative treatments for addiction in the journal Focus on Alternative and Complementary Therapies. The results did not show promise for alternative treatments, however, that does not necessarily mean they are useless. Some alternative treatments are effective in treating the symptoms people experience in recovery. For example, mindful meditation can produce moderate reductions in many types of psychological distress. Stress can interfere with how well treatments work for you, so it may be useful to do mindfulness meditation at home while still attending your normal one-on-one and group therapy sessions.

Where There Is Some Evidence of Effectiveness

For some alternative treatments, the evidence is growing but not yet complete — these are good options to pursue because they offer the best chance of success. Of these, exercise is perhaps the best choice. A review of the evidence published in Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews found that exercise can have a healing effect on the same areas of the brain that become damaged through substance use. You can maximize the effect by combining exercise with a healthy diet — remember to stay hydrated, increase your intake of healthy proteins and eat more vegetables.

Some people in recovery have difficulty keeping up with a fitness routine, but one way to stay persistent is to work out with a partner. Working out with a friend can boost motivation and accountability. Others find that workouts are more enjoyable and rewarding when you can measure progress. Today’s fitness trackers and smartwatches can track everything from calories burned to how many steps you take. New models like the Apple Watch Series 4 can measure heart rate and track swimming workouts, and you can even accept calls and messages. A model like the Fitbit Charge 3 has a sharp display and long battery life, and it can track your workouts. 

If There is a Low Risk of Side Effects

If a complementary treatment option has a low risk-profile in terms of side effects, it might be worth trying — assuming that you can afford it, of course. Some treatments carry very little risk, such as massage, reflexology, hypnosis, relaxation exercises, meditation, biofeedback, and acupuncture. If you’d like to give meditation a try, there are some helpful apps like Headspace and 10% Happier.

Others treatments have higher potential risks. Herbal products can produce side effects themselves or may interfere with other medications you are taking; acupuncture can cause lightheadedness or fainting in people afraid of needles, and certain types of body manipulation or deep massage can cause mechanical issues in the body. Exercise also carries some risks, but is considered safe if you follow a program recommended by your doctor.

Today, there are a number of evidence-based treatments for substance abuse disorders, but a study in 2012 found that only one in 10 people ever try them. If you are in recovery and not happy with your treatment, talk to your doctor about the different evidence-based therapies you could try. Once you are established on a treatment program, you can then talk to your doctor about complementary treatments to try on the side.

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